3.  Talking Points -- Not Just For Politics Anymore.

During the CBS pregame show, we thought we heard host James Brown refer at one point to the slate of Sunday afternoon games as "hand-picked" by the NFL.  And then we were informed by a couple of readers that a FOX announcer used the same phrase during one of the Sunday contests.

Our take?  It's a subtle form of protest against "flex scheduling" and/or backward-ass P.R. from the networks that hold the rights to the Sunday afternoon games. 

In reality, the CBS and FOX games are no more hand-picked than Steve Austin's nose. 

The formula was set when they bought the contracts.  FOX gets all afternoon NFC versus NFC games.  CBS gets all afternoon AFC versus AFC games.  FOX gets the afternoon interconference games when the NFC team is the visitor, and CBS gets the afternoon interconference games when the AFC team is the visitor.

The only thing that gets hand-picked under the new contracts is one game per weekend in Week Ten through Week Seventeen (except Week Sixteen), which gets hand-plucked from FOX or CBS and moved to Sunday night.

Thus, the Sunday afternoon schedules are hand-picked only to the extent that NBC has swiped one of the best games on the docket.

So the more accurate term might be "picked over."

Anyone who frequents this site on a regular basis knows that we think FOX analyst Bill Mass is the worst of the various sock puppets employed by the networks.  (FOX apparently agrees, given that he's working a "reduced schedule" in 2006.)

We've chronicled his ineptitude in the past, and in the spirit of the looming Thanksgiving holiday (which reminds us of Maas only because, like a turkey, he's apt to drown himself in a rainstorm), we won't list his various foibles from Sunday in this space.

But we will share with you the fact that the "real" media seems to agree with our assessment that Maas is a mess.  The evidence comes from a Redskins-related poll in the Washington Post, which includes two questions arising from an apparent presumption that Billy boy is buffoon:

Our choices?  As to 12, all of the above. 

As to 13?  Let's see.  He'd eat too many of the hot dogs, so that's out.  He'd be a decent lawn ornament, but he'd likely go continuously to the wrong house.  He'd do a nice job cleaning the elephant cage, but we're concerned that the pachyderms would be able to pull too many practical jokes on him.  And haven't the Geico cavemen been insulted enough?

None of the above.

5.  Eli Is A Bust.

Sorry, Giants fans.  But it's starting to look like one of the busts of the 2004 first-round quarterback draft class is your own Eli Manning.  

Peyton's little brother has looked awful of late.  His accuracy is shot, his decisions are bad, his mechanics are poor. 

And what makes the reality even harder for the New York faithful to bear is that, to get Eli, the team gave up the rights to quarterback Philip Rivers, and a third-round pick in 2004, a third-round pick in 2005, and a first-round pick in 2005.

Manning's performance fulfills a longstanding trend among first-round quarterbacks.  Success is basically a crapshoot, with in most years only 50 percent of the first-rounders ever panning out as long-term starters.

The regression of Eli Manning (whom as we wrote during the Monday night Live Blog has the demeanor of a guy who plays football not because he wants to, but because he's expected to) puts the 2004 class of first-rounders at or about the 50-50 line.

No. 1 pick Manning is, as of now, a bust.  No. 4 pick Philip Rivers is, as of now, a budding star.  No. 11 pick Ben Roethlisberger is a solid starter with a Super Bowl ring.  No. 22 pick J.P. Losman has been average, at best -- but still could bust.

While we're on the topic, let's take a look at other recent quarterback draft classes.

For 2006, No. 3 pick Vince Young and No. 10 pick Matt Leinart have shown some potential, but it's too early to tell what will happen.  Odds are that one of them will be a bust, and for now we think that it's more likely to be Leinart.

For 2005, it's too early to tell as to No. 1 pick Alex Smith and No. 25 pick Jason Campbell.  For No. 24 selection Aaron Rodgers, the "bust" label could be applied as early as next year.

For 2003, No. 1 pick Carson Palmer is a star, No. 7 pick Byron Leftwich fairly can be regarded as a decent starter who has become a bust, No. 19 pick Kyle Boller is a bona fide bust, and No. 22 pick Rex Grossman is on the fence but currently leaning toward a solid starter.

For 2002, No. 1 pick David Carr is struggling but not yet a full-blown bust, No. 3 pick Joey Harrington is a bust, and No. 32 pick Patrick Ramsey is a bust.

For 2001, No. 1 pick Mike Vick isn't a bust, but he's not a superstar.  Drew Brees, taken with the No. 32 pick (which was a second-round selection at the time), is a star.

So someone has to be the bust of the 2004 class, and history tells us that at least two of the four guys won't cut it over the long haul. 

For now, it doesn't look good for Eli.

6.  L.T. Needs A Belt.

We've noticed a troubling trend among a handful of NFL players.

They need, well, belts.

On Sunday night, we got an unwelcome glimpse of LaDainian Tomlinson's anal cleft after he was tackled early in the Chargers' game at Denver.  Keenly aware that part of his ass was hanging out of his britches, Tomlinson quickly pulled up the back side of his pants.  On at least one other occasion during the game, we saw Tomlinson put his hand back there to make sure his pants didn't need to be pulled up again.

What gives?  With all of the fancy, high-tech apparel that these guys wear, can't Reebok make a pair of knickers that will stay in place, lest we all get a peek of their cheeks?

Another common offender in this regard is Antonio Bryant, whose ass famously hung out of his pants last season when the Browns hosted the Bears.  This year, cameras caught Bryant's loose-waisted culottes getting pulled down again.

7.  Michael Irvin Pulls A Michael Richards.

Okay, folks.  We're officially confused about this whole racism thing. 

We get the part that calls for white guys to be severely punished and/or fired if they make bigoted, ignorant statements.  Al Campanis, Rush Limbaugh, Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder.

And the latest chapter in this history of racial prejudice comes courtesy of Michael Richards, whom most people know not as "Michael Richards" but as Cosmo Kramer, the hilarious hipster doofis who lived across the hall from Jerry Seinfeld.

Each made unfortunate statements, and each paid the price.

The best example for present purposes is Snyder, who once quipped (while possibly half in the bag) that blacks are better at sports than whites due to the selective breeding practices of slave owners.

In each case, we agree with the outcry that ensued, although we still think Limbaugh's punishment resulted more from his right-wing beliefs than from the actual content of his comments.

But what of the African-American public figure who makes comments just as idiotic, and arguably as blatantly racist?  Why is a pass granted in this regard?

The most recent incident?  ESPN's Michael Irvin.  Appearing Monday on ESPN Radio's The Dan Patrick Show, Irvin pulled a Jimmy "The Greek" when suggesting that one possible explanation for Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo's strong performance is that one of his ancestors got it on with one of those big man slaves to which Snyder referred nearly 20 years ago.

Said Irvin of Romo:  "He doesn't look like he's that type of an athlete.  But he is.  He is, man.  I don't know . . . some brother down in that line somewhere. . . .  I don't know who saw what or where, his great-great-great-great-grandma ran over in the 'hood or something went down."

Recognizing the idiocy of Irvin's comments, Dan Patrick said, "Oh, that's the only way he can be a great athlete?"

"That's not the only way, but it's certainly one way," Irvin said.  "If great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandma pulled one of them studs up out of the barn [and said], 'Come on in here for a second,' you know, and they go out and work in the yard.  You know, back in the day."

Irvin likely would claim that he was joking, if the standard that has been applied to white men who have made similar comments were also applied to the Playmaker.  He was, after all, laughing through some of his comments.

But does that make the comments any less ignorant, or any less racist?  Irvin basically is saying that, when a white man is a great athlete, there must be something out of the ordinary occurring, because the average white man simply can't do the same things that the average black man can.

Can someone please explain to us why Irvin hasn't been fired or suspended or even called out for his comments? 

In doing so, please tell us what you think would have happened if Steve Young or Chris Berman or Dan Patrick or any other white guy working for ESPN had uttered the exact same words.   

8.  More Fun With Replay.

Another thing we're confused about is the inability of NFL coaches and their staffs to know when to throw the replay flag, and when not to.

On Sunday, the Colts held the red hanky on one occasion where the team clearly should have used it, and the Colts later tossed the thing (and pissed away a time out) at a time when it should have stayed in coach Tony Dungy's pocket.

Specifically, the pass that Cowboys linebacker Kevin Burnett intercepted and returned 39 yards for a touchdown should not have been a six-pointer.  Burnett, based on replay evidence, was clearly down by contact after he caught the ball. 

Later, with less than three minutes to play, the Colts showed that they know how to use the flag by challenging whether Cowboys tight end Anthony Fasano was down by contact when he got up off of the ground and put the ball back down on it, a la Plaxico Burress in 2000. 

But replays showed that Fasano obviously was touched before he landed, and the call on the field was promptly upheld.

At the risk of being even more critical than we already are, why in the hell can't these teams decide when to challenge a play, and when not to?  It's not rocket surgery. 

Sure, there are time pressures at play.  But that's what these folks do; it's their jobs. 

For the folks responsible for letting Dungy know whether to exercise a challenge, maybe it soon won't be.

9.  Please Stop The Tipped Pass Thing.

While we're spending so much time talking about the previously undefeated Colts, we think it's time to mention the incredibly annoying celebration that the Colts defenders have been performing when a good play is made.

The move looks just like the thing that the zebras do when there's a tipped pass. 

But it's not.

Per a recent item in the Indianapolis Star, the move is an homage to the 2001 song "Make It Rain" (of which we've never heard) by Michael Burks (of whom we've never heard). 

"You've got a pile of money in your hand and you make it rain.  You make plays, you can make money," cornerback Jason David told the Star.  "We've seen guys coming up with other celebrations.  We took it upon our shoulders to make a celebration for the defense."

"It's like money; if you had a bunch of ones in your hand and you just tipped them off your fingertips and get paid," cornerback Nick "The Knee" Harper explained.  "You make a play, you feel like you're making your money, you're doing your job."

Okay, now we get it.  "Make it Rain."

Please, someone.  Make it stop.

10.  The Saints Aren't Coming.

We declared a week ago in this very spot that the New Orleans Saints, by virtue of a narrow loss on the road at Heinz Field are for real.

After watching the Saints lose at home to the Bengals on Sunday, we're suddenly not so sure.

The good news for the Saints is that, at 6-4, they're in a five-way tie for the second-best record in the conference.  And with upcoming games against the 5-5 Falcons and the 5-5 49ers and the 6-4 Cowboys and the 6-4 Giants and the 6-4 Panthers, the boys from the Bayou are in full and complete control of their destiny as they hit the stretch run.

Regardless of how it shakes out, the race for the right to be the team that faces the Bears in the NFC Championship Game should be compelling.

Until, that is, the NFC Championship Game actually begins.