POSTED 9:58 a.m. EST; UPDATED 12:13 p.m. EST, April 1, 2006

PARCELLS RETIREMENT RUMORS FLY

Even though the lead item of our annual April Fool's edition regarding the resignation of Cowboys coach Bill Parcells is phony, we're hearing rumors that Parcells might indeed pack it in after three years with the Cowboys.

The catalyst for the speculation is the addition of former Eagles receiver Terrell Owens, which might have occurred without the input or over the objection of the head coach.

Parcells has said nothing about the arrival of Owens, and Parcells was the only coach who blew off the ownership meetings in Florida this week.  His absence has fueled talk that he's very unhappy with the signing of Owens, and that Parcells doesn't want to have to talk about the situation to the media, or to anyone else.

The deeper problem here is that the events of the past two weeks have created the impression that Parcells has no say in what goes on with his team.  For a guy like Parcells, who plops more football knowledge into the porcelain every day that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones ever will acquire, the notion of being undermined publicly is the last thing he deserves, especially as his coaching career moves into its final days.

STRAHAN-ARNOLD FIGHT AN APRIL FOOL'S GAG

We've heard from several readers regarding a skirmish that broke out Friday on the set of FSN's The Best Mutherf--kin' Sports Show That Nobody Really Watches Anymore So How Do They Still Get "A" List Guests?  On the show, Tom Arnold and Michael Strahan get into an argument that culminates in a Srpinger-style wrestling match.  After the two are separated, Strahan complains of a shoulder injury.

When we first heard about the incident, we assumed that it was an April Fool's thing.  But after watching the video, we're weren't so sure.

Vinny DiTrani of the Bergen Record reports that the stunt was indeed an April Fool's set up.  Per DiTrani, coach Tom Coughlin and G.M. Ernie Accorsi were given a head's up earlier in the week regarding the phony fracas.

As it turns out, Arnold is a far better actor than he previously has shown.  And Strahan has a future in Hollywood, too.  (If, of course, any casting directors are ever looking for an oversized black man with a slight lisp and bad teeth.)

HARRINGTON-TO-CINCY TALK RAISES SIDE ISSUE FOR AGENT

Lions quarterback Joey Harrington will either be traded or released.  One of the teams in the mix for a trade is the Cincinnati Bengals, who need a solid backup option, especially since Jon Kitna is gone -- and since starter Carson Palmer is recovering from a torn ACL.

But Harrington and Palmer are represented by the same agent, Dave Dunn.  Harrington wants to be a starter again, eventually.  But he'll never be a starter in Cincy, where he'd be stuck behind Palmer.

The fact that Palmer is clearly entrenched as the starter will minimize the tensions that might arise if Harrington were brought in to compete for No. 1 with one of Dunn's other clients.  Still, it's unusual for the same agent to represent more than one quarterback on the same team's depth chart, and it requires an extra layer of skill for the agent to manage the situation without losing one of them.

If the ultimate objective is to make Harrington into a starter again, we don't quite understand why Cincinnati and Miami currently are the two prime candidates to land him.   In either city, Harrington would have no chance to start in the short term, barring injury or the inability of the current starters in both towns to bounce back from their current knee problems.

But why not target a town in which Harrington would have a year to learn the system before competing for the starting job in 2007?  In Minnesota and in Kansas City, the combination of a new coaching staff and a current starter over the age of 35 could equate to a chance to win the job outright next year.

Instead, Harrington wants a deal in the neighborhood of $2.5 million to $3 million a year to serve as a backup for the next two seasons, with the goal of competing somewhere for a starting job in 2008.  The price tag might force the Fins to look elsewhere, since they prefer to have someone in the program sooner rather than later, and thus don't have the time to wait for Harrington's price tag to fall.

The drop-dead date for a trade or a release is June 15, when Harrington is due to receive a $4 million roster bonus from the Lions.

THANKS FOR HELPING US TO OUR BEST MONTH EVER

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SATURDAY ONE-LINERS

More empty talk regarding Lord Favre.

Reading between the lines as to comments made by Vikings V.P. of football operations Rob Brzezinski regarding the decision not to match the Nate Burleson offer sheet, it sure sounds like the NFL asked the Vikes to let the poison pill pissing match die.

But Brzezinski got in one last dig, calling the offer sheet that the Seahawks presented to Burleson "a total sham."

WR Marcus Robinson is absent from the Vikings' offseason strength and conditioning program.

The Fins have invited more than two dozen draft-eligible players with local ties to visit the team facility.

Packers coach Mike McCarthy says that Lord Favre shouldn't worry about who the team is or isn't signing.

The 49ers sought and received an extension to their deadline for deciding whether to purchase an Arena League team.

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis won't say whether he's thinking about a switch to the 3-4.

Center Jai Lewis of George Mason is drawing interest from NFL scouts as a potential defensive lineman.

DE Demetric Evans plans to re-sign with the Redskins.

Negotiations regarding a possible alteration to the charges pending against Redskins S Sean Taylor fell apart on Friday, and the case is still on track for an April 10 trial; Taylor's lawyers are expected to seek a pre-trial dismissal of the most serious charges.

The Texans signed G David Loverne on Friday.

The Giants are raising ticket prices by $5.

From Ravens owner Steve Bisciotto, regarding criticism of coach Brian Billick and quarterback Kyle Boller on the air waves:  "For every person that has an opinion on talk radio, there is somebody driving along 695 totally disagreeing with him.  The vocal minority is going to be out there saying Kyle isn't good enough to be a quarterback and Brian isn't good enough to be a coach."

The Patriots have signed S Mel Mitchell.

The Titans might use their full allotment of 30 pre-draft in-house visits.

At least someone is paying attention to the NFL's decision to ban local television from the sidelines.

Agent Carl Poston says that LB LaVar Arrington will land with the Dolphins, Giants, Jaguars, or Bengals.  (Carl, what happened to the other 16 teams?)

Titans G.M. Floyd Reese disputes reports that CB Ty Law will visit the Titans.

Titans G.M. Floyd Reese says that QB Steve McNair won't be expected to groom his successor:  "A young quarterback can learn a lot from watching a veteran, but it's not like we're asking him to build an extra room onto his house for the young guy," Reese said.  "It won't be Steve’s responsibility to groom the young quarterback.  The coaches will do that."

Raiders coach Art Shell plans to give his new team an attitude enema.